The lost boy, he has come so far, and yet he is nowhere…

The lost boy

I find myself fearing that one more abyss
One more false step
Just might bring about the end of all this
It’s not that I am lacking in courage
I have clawed my way back before
And will do so again, if I can
But I am no longer armoured
With the boundless strength and youth
It is not always about me
It’s not even about the truth
There are other factors to consider
Other chaos that I can’t control
It seeps into my life
Casting long shadows,
Diminishing the light
Until everything is as black as them
Is that how it ends for me?
Despite all my planning
Despite all my mechanisms for coping
I will just lose myself in a bunch of nothing

I refuse to be lost

© 2015 Peter Anstiss

You are not for me… What made you doubt yourself & filled you with self loathing?

You are not for me

Your petals open
Your beauty is formed in full
I don’t feel worthy enough
To look upon you at all

It’s not as if I am the sun
It’s not as if I am special
So I linger longingly, but I will not stay
Destiny shall have its way

I shall hold this moment in my heart
I shall fade away and make a new start
For you are not for the likes of me
A fact that only you couldn’t see

© 2015 Peter Anstiss

 

Yesterday’s Whisper – A life of longing…

Yesterday’s Whisper

Will you miss my words
If I stop writing them for you to read
Will you miss me if I become silent
If my whispers no longer carry to you on the breeze

You keep your distance
For that only I am to blame
But does your heart still flutter
When someone mentions my name

Some things forever change
But some things, even when they are cut with knife
Still keep their soul
Still stay the same

So, will my memory whisper to you
Before you turn to sleep
Will you still smile for me
Will I be a secret you keep

© 2015 Peter Anstiss

The Mask… For those days we can’t be ourselves.

The Mask

A coat for the rain
Pills for the pain
Breaths for the stress

A mask for the day ahead
Amongst the living
Despite the dead

© 2014 Peter Anstiss